No one wants me around...

I'm so glad that you guys got together...really wish the best for you guys! one mind load off...

now i can be alone, as long as my friends are happy, i am happy.

met new friends, got a new life, and i know that as long as im unwanted you guys will always be there for me...

but i still feel bad, i don't want to be anyone's burden...

im always in the position of matchmaking people, or seeing people hugging each other, or getting lovey dovey, but never in the position of actually getting loved...

I yearn to receive bouquets of roses
I yearn to be there for him whenever he is down
I yearn to have dinner with the one i love just once a month and see him being happy with himself and his career...
I yearn to love him with all my heart and will
I yearn to be loved in return...

But all these never took place...

I know it's really an embarrasing thing to actually not have a date until the age of 20...but i cant help it when every person that i met wants physical pleasure fulfilled by me...and im actually forced sometimes to do it. It wasnt something that i envisaged...for real

I understand the kind intention you have for me, and it's really my honour to accept it...however...no point introducing a person to me that i cant possibly fantasize about when i don't even whether he is interested in me.

Coz i know that he definitely won't be the person that will always be there for me when i need him. He definitely won't be the person that can give me 100% of his love when i can give him 100% of my definite love. If he can't even manage his own time and send out messages to people that is dear to him...he shouldnt be the person that i expected to be my prince charming. If he really is interested, he would have messaged me, and not just say that he is paiseh.

Sorry for my unexpected short term disappearance...please let me be alone