Im Screwed

Not been updating my blog..i personally feel that i need to vent my frustrations online. But because i work in a military/government organization, im forbade to do so. Anyway, i need to change my outlook in life. I need to take things in stride because otherwise, i would be stranded in the streets sometime in the future not knowing whether i should rush out to the road and get knocked down by a ferrari.

This is saddening! Im not focusing enough! recently i realized that i haven't done great things in life except ogling at men and admiring the models from victoria's secret.
That's real bad. But i think i should be side-tracking because that's not what i want to do in life. I need inspiration. And im lucky that i have friends like Danielle and Kristen who really do care, and really do give me awesome advices from time to time. Strange thing is...i want to use their advices and try working towards a greater good.

I was self-centered. But now im just purely me. I wanna do what's within my area of influence. I wanna do what's right for me.

SMU hasnt replied me. Initially i was all down. But now come to think of it, i don't really have to be too sad even if they turn me down. I can always appeal if i want to. I could always try other universities. I can do overseas if i want to as well. It's not the end of my journey and it's funny, because that would mean half of the time, what was i doing?!

I should be forward-looking, giving myself to settle down, calm my thoughts and think what to do next.

But i really do want to get into a local university.